Puppets & Paperbacks

Tag: fantasy

  • Ice Planet Barbarians By Ruby Dixon

    Ice Planet Barbarians By Ruby Dixon

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    No one knows a blue alien better than me, but this vibration thing?! Sign me up! I can vibrate myself?! Yes!

    I assume it hasn’t happened to me yet because I haven’t found THE ONE. MY MATE! All blue aliens resonate, right?! Right?!

    Turns out not all blue aliens are built the same. They have no seam! NO SEAM! I will look into getting an upgrade and having a spur installed.

    I too crash landed and met a local human to care for me and show me where things are. You’d think it was one of those alien autobiographies, but NO resonance.

    Just weird furry beast that live here too plus THE MAN Gretel insists on calling her mate 🙄

    I hate him. 

    P.S. The Audiobook, which we recommend, is free with Audible Subscription and the Kindle version is also free with KindleUnlimited

    Note from us: We’ll suggest places to read or listen, but whenever you can, go straight to the authors as it’s the kindest way to show love and support them ❤ Plus they sign books and have swag

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  • Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M.Nascosta

    Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M.Nascosta

    Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta

    This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you purchase through these links at no extra cost to you

    Gretel warned me about Minotaurs, I didn’t believe her, thought she was being weird again…you know, how Gretel is.

    I read MGMF and this MF cracked my seam wide open. Now I dream of Minotaur seamless bits and understand the Cambric Creek Calling. Girl take me there! I’d be such a goddamn star there. A legend. A throat GOAT especially for a Minotaur who spoils me like Rourke does Violet. Yes daddy! Finger me at the dinner table of a restaurant *DROOL*

    Zero vibes with how its discussed humans treat monsters. Love the happily ever after (HEA) even though Rourke is giving emotionally available finance bro with horns and now I NEED to read more of that shit. Taking recommendations for rich beasts with horns!

    I asked Gretel if I could be a sex worker like Violet. We had a very real talk about how, yes, I could, but also no, it wouldn’t be like the book. Then I learned about how, in the book, it’s capitalism that makes Violet’s job necessary. BOO!

    I came for the monster dick but stayed for the subtle critique of late-stage labor exploitation. Wonder if the next book will have them forming a union? Gretel told me about those. Now I want a union daddy

    P.S. The Audiobook, which we recommend, is free with Audible Subscription and the Kindle version is also free with KindleUnlimited

    Note from us: We’ll suggest places to read or listen, but whenever you can, go straight to the authors as it’s the kindest way to show love and support them ❤ Plus they have like signed books and swag

    Buy Paperback

    Tactile babes unite

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  • Cold Sweat by Vera Valentine

    Cold Sweat by Vera Valentine

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    Oh Yeeeaaahhh!

    I wish he said this. I just learned about the Kool-Aid Man after reading this book and breaking the house pitcher. Gretel wasn’t happy about it and now all my pink drink come in small cups 😦 

    I still haven’t been in a sauna and I will be taking my red drink in there with me if I ever get the chance. I need to know what a glass appendage is like that’s filled with red drink ❤

    I am still learning how this planet operates, but apparently step-siblings are different from brothers and sisters that share parents. It’s all confusing, but not in Cold Sweat. They’re related, but not. I’ll look into getting myself a step-sibling.

    DM me if you know a guy!

    P.S. This book is Free on KindleUnlimited

    Note from us: We’ll suggest places to read or listen, but whenever you can, go straight to the authors as it’s the kindest way to show love and support them ❤

    Buy Paperback

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  • Unhinged An Erotic Door Romance by Vera Valentine

    Unhinged An Erotic Door Romance by Vera Valentine

    This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you purchase through these links at no extra cost to you

    From Groan:

    My all time favorite!

    I learned about door-forms and now I’ve just been asking every human I see about their door-form. Gretel keeps telling me to stop rubbing myself on the doors, but she didn’t read unhinged so obviously she’s missing out.

    I can’t read on this planet so the audiobook version was a delight and I suggest it for the sound effects other than people talking. 

    Honestly, there were a few parts I didn’t understand like the reference to Greek mythology. I suppose a history class will assist me with that. Who knew doors can come alive. 

    Catch me on social media flashing my favorite knobs ❤

    From a human, Gretel:

    Unhinged is a sentient object romance.

    The object in question is a door who we find out later in the story has a human form. However, you must do certain things to the knob for the human form to appear.

    It’s funny, awkward, and very short. Worth reading if you’re interested in sentient object romances or just want to giggle at yourself for reading it.

    We find asking people what their door-form is works as a great opener into bringing them on the dark side of sentient object romances. Oh yeah, there’s a lot of them

    P.S. This book is FREE on KindleUnlimited

    Note from us: We’ll suggest places to read or listen, but whenever you can, go straight to the authors as it’s the kindest way to show love and support them ❤

    Find more sentient object smut from Vera Valentine here

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  • A Soul to Keep: Duskwalker Brides: Book 1 by Opal Reyne

    A Soul to Keep: Duskwalker Brides: Book 1 by Opal Reyne

    A Soul to Keep: Duskwalker Brides: Book 1
    by Opal Reyne

    This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you purchase through these links at no extra cost to you

    Tentacles! I feel so seen

    Gretel keeps telling me Orpheus isn’t real just because I need another person with a seam to talk to. Gretel has no such thing.

    I am an audiobook Stan and I don’t know why you’d read this when you could just hear Orpheus talk to you like a voice mail message. I like those. Leave those for me. 

    His tentacles are also purple which, royalty!

    I don’t understand the soul portion, but he eats them and then carries them on his head and you live forever. I wonder if I have a soul. If I ever meet Orpheus I’ll ask him and if not, I’ll just hang out on his head too like Reia does sometimes...seems cozy

    P.S. This book is FREE on KindleUnlimited

    Note from us: We’ll suggest places to read or listen, but whenever you can, go straight to the authors as it’s the kindest way to show love and support them ❤

    Independent Shop

    For the morally superior

    Listen Audiobook

    Graphic Audio is chef’s kiss

    Read Kindle

    Instant gratification